The Taint

The Taint almost left me speechless. Almost. I knew enough about this film to know that it was going to be, for lack of a better word, bonkers. Yet, it still exceeded all expectations. Now, it is a comedy, and it is all done as a commentary on the male ego and the power testosterone has when it gets out of control.

Like many of the films I review, this is certainly something only for a select audience.

The story is that two scientists, in the basement of one's parents, develop a chemical that will make penises bigger and "super charged" so all men would be equal. Something goes wrong with the chemical and it is injected into the city's water supply. This leads to a rather immediate apocalypse as all men, aside from our lead role, turn into crazed misogynist zombies hell-bent on killing all women.

This movie delivered in laughs, gore, and shock. It's claim to fame is containing "the most penis explosions ever caught on film". An ever coveted title who's crown I think will remain upon The Taint's head for some time.

If you are looking for something that will make you laugh, cringe, and question the meaning of life itself, look no further. The Taint will remain one of the most outrageous independent releases until the actual, penis filled apocalypse takes place. If this film could have a mind, it would be out of it.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 3/5
Shock: 5/5

Cannibal Holocaust

I've been hearing about Cannibal Holocaust since I was a kid. It quite possibly has the most notorious reputation in all of cinema. When it was first released in it's native Italy back in 1980, the film was seized and the director and producer were arrested because it was believed that they actually killed these people for the film. Of course, after an investigation it was revealed that it was in fact not real.

I have to be honest, I was a bit nervous before watching this. To sit down and watch what is so widely considered the most disturbing film ever made takes some balls, but of course I watched it. How could I pass up this opportunity?

To my surprise, there was a lot more to this film than just it's brutality. It actually has a message, and a powerful concept.

The story seems simple at first, but actually gives way to some complexity.

There is a group of four documentary filmmakers who are setting out to make a film about the native tribes of the Amazon. After all contact with them is lost, Professor Harold Monroe is tasked with finding them. He witnesses some of the horrors of the tribes along with us, but eventually befriends them. He finds the remains of the four people he was looking for, along with their camera equipment and film canisters. He brings the film back to the United States with the plans of using to make the film the crew could not finish.

This is where things get tricky. As he reviews the film with the film company that is producing it, they discover that it wasn't the tribe that was barbaric, it was the film crew. In order to get the footage they wanted, they burned and brutalized entire villages and then the tribe gets their revenge in equally brutal fashion. We then experience the battle between Prof. Monroe and the production company to release the footage. They of course want to make money, but Monroe knows the true evil that is captured on that film. We then sit in with the executives as they finally agree to watch the footage in it's unflinching and raw state. The final decision on what to do with the film I'll leave out, for those who can and will watch it.

This film works as a commentary on society, questioning who the real savages are and making money off of others' misery. It pushes the limits of cinema.

This is definitely a film for only those who know they can handle it. It's no joke. I am surprised and impressed by the actual weight of the story that has been overshadowed by it's shocking visuals.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 3/5
Shock: 5/5

SPECIAL PREVIEW: Save Her (short film)

Those who know me, know that I don't endorse just any film. That's why you should pay close attention here. You don't want to miss out.

Chicago-based creative talent, Nem Perez, has released a teaser trailer and website for his upcoming short film Save Her. There has been a lot of talk about this film during it's production, and I have been eagerly awaiting it's release.

Here's what Perez has to say about his film (from interview on RubyHornet.com):

"To put it shortly: The story is about a girl trapped in her nightmare who's saved by her lover who emerges from his dream to rescue her.

The film has many other themes surrounding it as well, especially those concerning dream vs reality (and which state is worth living in most). None of the characters have names except for the main female role Maryam (played by Megan Lewis). Maryams side of the story takes place in her nightmare while the boys side (played by Alex Duarte) takes place in his dreamland. The main antagonist of the story is played by Monica Anelle, she lives in the boys dream and she is the woman he's been dreaming about since he was younger. I don't want to give away too much else since the project is still in development but that's the main synopsis."

From what I've been seeing and hearing about Save Her, it has the feel of films by Lars Von Trier, Tarsem Singh, and early Darren Aronofsky. Personally, I love films like this. When filmmakers get abstract with their craft, it unlocks their full artistic ability. It gives them the chance to dig deep and really go all out artistically. This film has so much potential for being a visual treat with thrills, chills, and making the viewer think. The imagery, colors, use of gritty black and white and overall concept all have me at the edge of my seat to see this film.

Save Her is one fever dream I can't wait to experience.

website with trailer (trailer contains a little bit of nudity): Click Here

Treevenge (short film)

From the madmen that brought us Hobo With A Shotgun, comes this 2008 short film Treevenge. You read that right. The idea behind this is brilliant. There is a lot more to pine trees than we thought.

They are sick and tired of us cutting them down, dragging them from their families and natural habitats and humiliating them with decorations until they die and are thrown out. So they decide to finally rise up and exact their revenge in this 15 minute, blood-soaked beauty.

Just like with Hobo, they really pull out all the stops. Just when you think "no...there's no way they would take it that far...they can't" they do. It's outrageous in all the best ways.

I couldn't help but laugh throughout almost every minute of the carnage. It is out of this world, you won't really believe what you're seeing at first, but just suspend your disbelief and soak it all in. Any real horror fan would love this. I think I've finally found a filmmaker who is just as batshit crazy as I am.

As a special treat the director himself, Jason Eisener, gave me permission to include a link to Treevenge for all to enjoy. Remember, it's not for the faint of heart:

TREEVENGE

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 5/5
Shock: 5/5

Jason Eisener is the first director to receive a double 5 rating on 2 films. They are well deserved. I can't wait to see what he has in store for us in the future!

Street Trash

Street Trash blew my mind. I mean, I knew going into it that it was going to be nuts, but...wow. I'm not even sure what to say.

There are a couple of stories going on here. The first is that a liquor store owner finds a box of booze buried in his basement walls. A drink called Viper. He starts selling it at $1 a bottle to the local homeless population. It ends up having some really insane results. Those who drink it almost instantly start to melt. But this isn't your average human melting. Amongst the blood and guts is a bright, vibrant palate of blues, yellows, reds and greens. It's strangely artistic.

The other story focuses on a group of homeless that built a little settlement amongst a junkyard, and their insane leader who is a Vietnam War vet who's mind was lost long ago.

It doesn't take too long before this movie dives into the insanity and never looks back. I found myself often with my hands on my head in awe filled confusion of who the hell wrote this stuff. It was fun as hell to experience.

This one is for those who like horror, but also love the weird. You have to be into the weird in order to enjoy this film. If you are, watching Street Trash will be a gleefully twisted good time.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 3/5
Shock: 5/5

American Psycho

It's not very every day we see a film adapted from a novel that is based in the horror genre. Thankfully, one of the most controversial books, of the same title, in recent history was translated into the beautiful film that is American Psycho. We start out by being plunged head first into the life of Patrick Bateman. A man who is already well on his way into insanity. Constantly striving for perfection, he only has one thing that is his release...brutally murdering people.

During the day he wears a mask of sanity, pretending to be normal, but that mask begins to slip. His sinister urges are becoming harder and harder to control and as we follow him into this drug and blood fueled darkness, we become less and less sure of where reality ends and his insanity begins.

Personally, I think this film is quite brilliant. It's really different, funny, sick and freaky as shit. Nothing like a naked lunatic covered in blood chasing you through an apartment building laughing and revving a chainsaw. It gets downright insane, and I very much enjoyed that.

Surprisingly enough, there isn't very much gore in this film, but that makes sense. It's not about the gore, it's about the acts and the man behind them. One of the parts that I love the most about this is one aspect that really sets it apart. It gets to the point where he recognizes that things have gotten way out of control, even for a serial killer, and tries to confess to the killings. But no one will believe him. He wants to get caught, but everyone thinks it's just a joke. It's such a beautiful twist that each time I watch it I can't help but get goosebumps during his closing monologue. The idea of straight up telling someone how you want to kill them, in detail, to their face and having them just ignore it. Its unlike anything I've seen.

This film is a perfect addition to a horror fan's collection. It's not the most shocking thing I've seen, but it is shocking nonetheless.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 4/5
Shock: 3/5

Hobo With A Shotgun

Let me start off by saying this was easily one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen, and I loved it. It was meant to be ridiculous, it was meant to be insane, it was meant to be perverse, hilarious, in your face and downright brain melting. It accomplished all of these with flying, vibrant colors.

I have been waiting to see this movie since it was first announced that it's Grindhouse trailer was being made into a full length feature. It's been a long time since then, but it was well worth the wait. The movie delivered on everything it's ingeniously simple title promises and then some.

The writer (John Davies) and director (Jason Eisener) pulled out every stop imaginable and went deep into the darkness to dig up every twisted idea possible. With a movie like Hobo With A Shotgun you can't pull any punches. If you do, what's the point?

This is the perfect movie for fans of the gore-filled Grindhouse movies of old. This is arguably the best homage to the exploitation films of the 70's and 80's I've ever seen. Eisener obviously knows his stuff, but still kept it his own. Everything from the harsh dialogue, to the use of color, to the soundtrack was done with much planning, thought and precision. This felt like they went into my brain and extracted any awful thought I've ever had, mixed it in with an acid-induced fever dream strained through Apocalypse Now and bled into the ghetto's of North America. It was a pleasure to watch and had me cringing, gasping and laughing all the way through.

I will watch this movie countless times, however, that doesn't mean you should. For something like this, you need to be prepared for it. If you can't handle it, do not watch it. You're missing out on a great movie, but obviously you weren't cut out for this kind of stuff to begin with.

My hat goes off to this first time director (of a full length feature) and his crew. You guys just put Canada on the cinematic map.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 5/5
Shock: 5/5

I Saw The Devil

I heard about Korea's I Saw The Devil sometime last month, and I've been dying to see it ever since. It's not being released on dvd to the US until later this spring, so I was heartbroken thinking I would have to wait so long to see it. However, thanks to Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo, and a good friend, I was able to get my hands on the South Korean released dvd.

It was worth the wait.

This was a beautifully horrifying film. It exposes you to the darkest depths of humanity and holds nothing back.

The plot is rather simple. A serial killer takes the pregnant fiancee of a secret agent as his victim. He finds out and takes his time exacting his promised revenge. It's brutal and fun to watch this demented game of cat and mouse.

This was wonderfully directed and filmed. Aside from being a fantastic horror movie, it's also a very well made and legitimate film. It seems like the plot is will be more straight-forward than it actually is, and keeps you guessing until the end.

It had me reacting verbally many times, yelling out "Oh man!" as you straight up watch some one's head get caved in with a metal pipe. Like I said, it holds nothing back. Like some of my other reviews, I'm not going to give away any major plot details, as this is an amazing film you should see. If you can take it.

I'll leave you with this... The taxi cab scene is pure brilliance. One of the best shot and overall made horror film sequences I've ever scene. You'll know what I'm talking about when it happens. If you can take shocking films, get your hands on this one as soon as it comes to your country.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 5/5
Shock: 4/5

I Spit On Your Grave (2010)

Growing up as a young boy in New York, I never thought the day would come where I would find myself laughing heartily while I watch a man be fed his own penis. However, thanks to the remake of I Spit On Your Grave, that day has come. This was one of the most outrageous films I've ever seen. The writer and directer got decidedly creative with how our lead character would exact revenge on these bumbling hicks.

It's a pretty simple story, a female author takes a trip to the country to spend some alone time writing, and also apparently drinking, and smoking weed. Apparently she is the only woman to travel to this part of America in the past 20 years and the local hicks decide they need to take full advantage of this. Putting it as kindly as I can...they raped her. After an agonizingly long sequence of this, she jumps into a river just as they are about to kill her. She can apparently hold her breath for hours because they wait for her to pop up down stream, but she never does. So these hicks, the town sheriff included, go back to their regular lives of watching tv and whittling pointy sticks.

Turns out she survived and has been in the forest for a month surviving on God knows what and somehow got herself a new pair of clean jeans and a shirt. Anyways, she comes back and starts messing with the hicks, and then captures them one by one and tortures and kills them in ways similar, but far worse, than how they tortured her. This is where the film just got hilarious. The most outrageous acts I've ever seen on screen happened here. Including what I mentioned in the first sentence. I had also never seen a man be raped with a shotgun until I saw this movie. That was a new one.

Don't ever see this, unless you're like me and can handle it. Even then, it's not really worth it unless you've had a few drinks.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 2/5
Shock: 4/5

We Are What We Are (Somos Lo Que Hay)

To be honest, I'm not sure if I've really been introduced to the Mexican horror cinema. Well, it was worth the wait. We Are What We Are was a wonderful way to begin our relationship.

This is a beautiful and dark film about a family of cannibals. Yea, I know what you may be thinking, "flashes of Texas Chainsaw Massacre." and you can go right to hell. Just kidding, but really, We Are What We Are rewrites the entire playbook on the cannibal genre and I couldn't be happier about it.

I'm going to do as best I can to not give away too many details as this is another great film I want people to see.

This film accomplishes the often difficult task of making the viewer cheer for the bad guy. As this family hunts for food of the human variety, I found myself feeling bad when they failed.

This film is gruesome, gritty and all around dark on all levels. It has a wonderful and steady build that leads to a fast-paced and intense climax. I'm not going to tell you what happens because it is all too fun to watch it unfold. Just get your hands on it as soon as you can. You won't be disappointed.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 4/5
Shock: 4/5

Rubber

Where do I even begin with a film like Rubber? A tire named Robert who possesses the ability to blow things up with telekinetic powers.

Just let that marinate in your brain for a bit.

You may be thinking, "Why?". I have a simple answer for you: No reason.

This entire film is a self-proclaimed "homage to no reason". It has the feel and style of the French art house cinema from the past, but mixed with a modern day look and dozens of exploding heads. It's as funny as it is bizarre and it's bizarreness is what lands it here today. It's not shocking the same way all the other films I've reviewed are. By now, we've all seen heads explode. That's no big deal. What is a big deal is that fact the what's making those heads explode is the telekinetic powers of a sentient tire. A tire that will kill anything or anyone to get to the girl he's fallen for. That's right, he knows how to love, too. He takes showers, he watches tv, and he explodes the heads of an entire family to do so. Robert the tire doesn't give a damn. Just get out of his way.

Then there's also the other story line that is a commentary on modern cinema audiences. There's a group of people with binoculars watching all of it with us. I'll leave what happens with them a mystery for you to enjoy. However, with one hint. It's the writer/director, Quentin Dupieux's version of "if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?". At least that's how I took it.

It's a very interesting film, full of laughs, confusion, blood and brains. Why did I like this film? No reason.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 4/5
Shock: 4/5

High Tension

Yes, another French film. I swear I'm not doing this on purpose. This time we have an attempt at horror from Alexandre Aja and his film High Tension. His other films (The Hills Have Eyes remake and the Piranha remake in 3D) should give you a hint as to what this film was like. Blood, death, screaming. A pretty typical horror film, but with a few curve balls thrown in.

Thankfully this movie doesn't waste much time getting into the action, just about 20 minutes in when it all begins. Some pretty typical stuff really. A fat, grunting man comes into a house and walks about killing it's occupants. He chains up the daughter and puts her in his truck, while our main character (the family friend), Marie, sneaks around trying to free her. She accidentally gets locked in the back of the truck as well and goes for a ride. The rest is pretty predictable up until the last 10 minutes or so when they reveal the movie's big twist.

However, instead of having the intended reaction of "oh man, no way!". It triggers more of a "wait...what?" reaction. As this twist is impossible, with everything that happened in the film up until the twist is revealed. This makes it so the viewer has to expand their imagination. I'm not sure if this really works, because one of the aspects that helps to make a horror film so horrifying is the viewer being able to put themselves in the shoes of the victim. This sort of takes you out of that, but maybe that's just me. All in all it's an entertaining watch and there's really only one scene at the beginning that really helped this earn the shock badge. Stay away if you don't like lots of blood. Aja loves lots of blood.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 3/5
Shock: 3/5

Frontier(s)

The French have been at the forefront of cinema since the beginning and they certainly haven't left out the horror genre. Lately I have been watching a lot of French horror films, and they have been hitting the spot. They not only bring the shock and scares, but tie it all in with some great stories.

Frontier(s) is one of those films.

When it starts, it doesn't really feel like a horror movie. Shows a group of young adults in France during some riots. And ends in a totally different place you never see coming. These young adults flee the city, on the run from authorities and the riots caused by a current political election. They stop at an inn in the middle of the countryside. This is where things start to get strange, and more dangerous than the riots in the city.

Things get weird pretty quick, then they get suddenly violent. This is where it all gets pretty damn crazy. I don't want to give much about that away because it's a fun ride. However, know that it involves a herd of mutant children, a Nazi, cannibalism, pigs, a table saw, one melting person, and a hell of a lot of blood. Frontier(s) is an interesting and intense film, and certainly does it's job to entertain and shock. I enjoyed this one.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 4/5
Shock: 4/5

[rec]2

The [rec] series had a rather interesting origin. It all began when two Spanish filmmakers wanted to make a movie that didn't have any music. This spawned [rec] (which spawned the embarrassing American remake Quarantine). The first of the series was very good. Shooting a horror film, or zombie film to be exact, all from a first person point of view.

I had the honor, and absolute joy, of viewing [rec]2 for the first time in theaters. A rarity for the American audience. It was at the wonderful Portage Theater here in Chicago, IL. In a theater is really the proper place for this film to be seen. It blew me, and the entire audience, away.

It hits hard and with a frantic pace. It is brutal, and amazingly well done. I totally loved it. And guess what...its actually a unique take on the zombie film. What?! Yea, that's right. It's not the same old stuff. The first person viewing (from the helmet cameras of a swat team, and hand held camera of teens) really puts the viewer in the film. You can't help but feel like this is all happening to you. You will fear for your life while watching this, and it feels great. I would also like to mention that the main "creature" is quite possibly one of the most creepy, disgusting things I've ever seen. I later found out it was all done without CGI which blew my mind, and made it even more creepy.

A friend of mine who was at the screening said it was the first time he's seen a horror movie get an actual fearful reaction out of me. So that means something. For those of you who like or love zombies, this is a must see. And don't be ignorant, watch it with subtitles (yes, it is in Spanish). This is a great, and terrifying film. Go purchase it, get your friends together with the biggest TV and sound system you can find, and enjoy.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 5/5
Shock: 4/5

Dr. Giggles

You may not have heard of this film. I stumbled upon it late one night while with a group of friends. It ended up being one of the most entertaining film viewings I've ever had. Although the laughs weren't delivered on purpose, the shock certainly was.

Dr. Giggles is exactly what it appears to be. A horror film about a crazy doctor. Pretty straight forward stuff. However, it does throw in a few curve balls. One in particular that has led me to review it on this site. While going back to show us why Dr. Giggles is the way he is there is a scene that was pretty crazy. I'm pretty sure out of all of us there, I was just 1 of 2 people who kept their eyes on the screen during it.

Dr. Giggles' father, umm...Dr. Giggles, Sr.? Is a crazy doctor as well. Back in the day when his wife was dying of a heart condition he started taking people's hearts to give to her, blah blah. The police caught on, yada yada. Then, the Giggles boys hatch an insane plan. They cut open the dead mother and sew the young Giggles into his dead mother (we don't see this part). Later, when on the table in the coroner's office, he cuts himself out of her. We see a little boy cut and crawl his way (pretty much naked) out of his dead (and totally naked) mother. It was a rather unbelievable site and what I think has earned this film the status of shock.

The rest of the film is just the doctor going around this town killing people with medical instruments and horribly hilarious medical related puns. The puns were arguably the best part as my friends and I turned it into a game of who would guess correctly what the next pun would be. We cheered as if we were watching the Super Bowl.

It was a very enjoyable experience, and one of the key elements was that it didn't take itself seriously. If you're looking for medical violence and a lot of laughs, I highly recommend it.

Shock or not? Shock

Film: 3/5
Shock:3/5